“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott
Grief is a crazy thing. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, like a child whose been waiting to envelope you in a blanket. Then it’s all around you and you can’t see, and even though you know it’s temporary, the darkness can be very, very frightening.
It’s only been a couple of days since the shooting at Fort Hood, and it seems to be only a faint blip on the radar screen which is the attention span of our country. I don’t know why it’s come and gone so quickly. Is it because for many people it seems that it was inevitable given that so many soldiers have returned home with scars both mental and physical? Is it because we don’t really want to deal with the problem of guns in our society? Is it because some lives are more important than others, and these lives didn’t seem that important?
This soldier, and those who he shot before taking his own life, meant something to someone. He was a husband a father, a son. The other victims were parents or spouses, someone’s children, someone’s friend. Each life meant something. Each one was precious.
I live not very far from Newtown, CT, and my community was directly impacted by that shooting. It’s never very far from people’s minds. Until we do something to at least try and prevent people with mental illness from having guns, these tragedies will continue to happen. Someone will lose a child, a father, a brother, an aunt, a friend. God’s heart will grieve, knowing what might have been in the future of those gone too soon.
Time heals, but not perfectly and not fully and there will always be a hole in your heart where the loved one used to be. Life is never the same again. You may dance, but it isn’t the same dance. As Anne Lamott so wisely said, you may need to learn to dance with the limp. Or find a buddy to carry you.